Dreams from My Father (Part 2)

His stepfather Lolo, an Indonesian, also had some influence on his growth. A boy at pre-teen age like Obama was at that time will be strongly influenced by a trusted father figure. There was a discussion between Obama and Lolo about men. Obama asked if Lolo even saw a man killed. Lolo said yes and Obama pushed on for the reason why this man was killed. Lolo’s answer was straightforward.

“Because he was weak.” And he went to lecture Obama about his view of power, “Men take advantage of weakness in other men. They’re just like countries in that way.” His final advice to Obama? “If you can’t be strong, be clever and make peace with someone who’s strong. But always better to be strong yourself. Always.”

I think the best word to describe my reaction when I read these few paragraphs is: Amused. It’s so Asian. It has some truth in it, just like any other words of wisdom. But I can certainly relate to these words. They are the same teaching from adults around me when I was a boy! Being masculine is the key to survival for a man in Asia, especially during those 30 years after the Second World War. I’m not sure if this has affected Obama’s life philosophy or even how he governs a country. His few years’ experience in Indonesia is good for him as a politician. At least he understands more about what justice, power, wealth, rights – the set of words politicians always use, actually mean in other cultures.

His two-week spell with his father in Hawaii was only described in less than 10 pages, though his father’s influence on him is everywhere in the book. Every time he mentioned his father, there is a sense of mystery as well as admiration. Yes he worshipped his father. He was swollen with pride for his father’s talents and wits. While his father was in Hawaii visiting him, his mom and grand parents, he went to Obama’s school and eventually ended up giving a speech to Obama’s class. You can tell by the way Obama described the reaction of his classmates and his class teacher – he is really proud of his old man. From those little stories heard from his grandparents and other friends, we can also say Obama has inherited his father’s intelligence, persuasive power and influencing skills. Of course he also inherited from his mother the good look, hard working attitude and good heart.

Can you call him a lucky person? Probably not. Just imagine he only spent two weeks with his father. Can you say he had a misery childhood? Again the answer is more no than yes. If you look at his grandparents, his mother, and even his stepfather, they all care about his well being, and have played a strong role at different stage of his life. Perhaps we should just be happy with the things and people around us, and live up to the full potential within us. Nothing in this world is absolutely good or bad. Everyone starts with a different hand. Just play the poker game the best you can.

To be continued...

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